Also the complete opposite of my experience. I used the nightly builds almost exclusively for over a week on Ubuntu 9.04 and I had no performance issues. Things are certainly incomplete but I was slightly disappointed to go back to the poorer performance of Firefox. I should probably place that blame on the Flash plugin but I think Chrome will handle this problem much better.
For IM, XMPP would be a wise choice. SIP could be be used as part of your voice/video solution but they are different things and as such you wouldn't choose one over the other unless you were choosing IM over voice/video.
Google chose XMPP and developed Jingle as an extension to allow for voice/video.
You could just build your setup on Google's services and take advantage of Google Apps for your domain.
Thanks for the reply. I'd want to offer both voice and IM - I actually didn't know SIP could do IM but a comment above made me realise it does.
Guess I'll have to check them both out more. I'd actually started a bit with XMPP but honestly I really don't like it, so was kind of hoping SIP could fit the bill .. more research needed : D
I'm not sure if you'll read this, since it's been so long, but here goes.
Depending on what you plan to do, if you want to be 'standards compliant', I'd look into SIP, and it's IM extension called SIMPLE.
What's interesting here is, that the 3GPP body - defining the telco standards of the future - has chosen SIP as it's signalling protocol for media sessions (voice + video), but also for IM. In addition there is a 'network address book' (= server side contact list) standard based on XCAP.
All of the above are part of what's called IMS, the IP based communications infrastructure for future telco networks.
A good library for SIP client development is PJSIP.
If you are just in need of a good IM infrastructure, XMPP/Jabber seems to be better suited.
Also, notice that they have not updated libjingle in over 2 years. They should include some sort of statement about the status of the project. It's my understanding that it won't even compile without work but I could be wrong there.