I was granted 10,000 shares at a startup I worked for. I asked them "what does a share represent as a portion of the current company?" "We don't divulge that information."
I am not going to lock up a huge portion of my expendable compensation in an "investment" that's designed to benefit people besides me on the hopes that the company is one of the few successes to come to market. There are too many horror stories going on right now that the VCs are trying to keep quiet for me to trust most startups.
I don't get this age of greed that we are in. The board and the VCs are making hundreds of millions (and some of them already have that much), and they are f'n pinching pennies for the first 20-30 employees that worked their ass of to make their company work. Is it really going to hurt that much for like 10-15 people to make a few hundred grand? Geez. It wasn't this way (at least for me) back in the mid-90s. I had been lucky to make some money back then, but I hate that the 20-somethings are getting royally f'd over.
BTW, my CEO just gave me a significant bump in my options a few weeks ago. He acted like it was a huge deal. But, with the 'right of repurchase' and all the other BS clauses in my options contract, they're essentially worthless.
I've worked for the really rich. In my experience/opinion I don't think they're evil but are focused on having more for the sake of having more. They grew up in such a way that they believe they are more skilled/harder working therefore more deserving of wealth than others. They also resent those that don't do what they do but complain about not having enough wealth (even though society would stop functioning were that to be the case).
There's usually something missing from their combination of empathy and understanding which would allow them to care about the negative ramifications they're having. Look at Bill Gates, I don't think he's a bad person but he hurt a lot of people in industry and consumers to build Microsoft to what it is by destroying the competitive landscape. Steve Jobs is a better example, he proactively colluded to suppress wages and paid money for an organ that would only prolong his life but could have saved someone else's (seriously, I consider that an evil move).
One suggestion for you, it sounds like you're very angry about your current work environment. Maybe it's time to find a new place?
I used to be bitter about stuff like this but I've gotten over it.
The chances of getting wealthy by joining a small startup are very small. It happens, but it's probably not going to happen for you.
If you really want to do well, you have to pull together the resources to start a successful company.
On a different note, I used to work for an almost billionaire, they were incredibly cheap. I often reminded myself that you don't make a billion dollars by wasting money!
At the last 4 startups I joined, when I asked about number of shares, valuation, etc after getting my options agreement, the owners treated the info like the nuclear launch codes, or that I was asking something deeply personal and I should feel bad about thinking about asking.
They are cheating you, they want to keep you poor.
The correct answers are: "We don't give you options, we give you RSUs and they start vesting after 90 days. Here's the cap table"
Anything else is screwing you. Unless, course the RSUs are for preferred shares, that's real what it should be, but common seems a reasonable compromise given that investors think a dollar from them is worth more than a dollar from an employee and should be preferred.
At that point I realized it didn't matter how many options I had, I was going to get screwed should there be an exit, and made my own.