Personal recommendations are usually how people find their dentists, I'm not sure there's any better way. Ask several colleagues and friends to talk to you in depth about their experiences. Make sure you ask if they recommended extensive expensive treatments, routinely recommending such treatments is a bad sign the dentist is doing unnecessary work for profit (which happens). Don't hesitate to call up different offices with any questions you may have. If they won't or can't answer your questions they aren't worth your time. Don't hesitate about getting a second opinion if you're not sure about their treatment plan.

Really it's about recommendations, ask lots of people who they go to and why. I'd avoid a practice that's part of a chain like the plague, they are more likely to have a high turnover of dentists, who are under pressure to produce. I'd go for a small practice with at most a few dentists all ideally partners who are there for the long haul. Definitely avoid quick jobs like combining a holiday with treatment packages. If you've left things a long time, the first task may just be to stabilise things and then you can gradually get the things you want, done. There are always options and some cost a lot more than others. It's a trade off off involving satisfaction in terms of aesthetics and function, cost and the amount of time you'll need to spend in the chair. Sorry that all sounds a bit wafflely as i write it but it's true really.

Those years of neglect are going to hurt until you get back to where you need to be. Even the best dentist will admit to that.