Your comment, while I assume you earnestly meant, is enigmatic of the gap between what the lay person may think works at sea and the very harsh and unforgiving reality of the Sea.
Source: my father was an engineer at a marine engineering company
Hehe. I left out that I was thinking of a system that used all the environmental monitoring to deploy such a disposable contraption only in calm/good weather - but then it would not be a substitute for satellite data - mote an opportunistic system for bulk backup.
Source: my father was an engineer at a marine engineering company