The ORM makes it more likely to do stuff in the application instead of the DB
Again this doesn't match my experience. A mediocre .NET developer who can access the database with LINQ is far more likely to run their queries on the database than a mediorce .NET developer who has to try to write SQL queries by hand.
And the truth is that modern ORMs are often pretty clever with their optimizations, and in many cases the ORM will often outperform an average developer doing the obvious thing is SQL.
Also ORMs have enough visibility into your code to tell you of for doing stupid things. There are libraries working with ActiveRecord (and likely others too) which will warn you that you could skip the specific query if you added .eager_load(). Or about 1+N you're doing needlessly.
This can be done on SQL itself, but it would be much harder.
Again this doesn't match my experience. A mediocre .NET developer who can access the database with LINQ is far more likely to run their queries on the database than a mediorce .NET developer who has to try to write SQL queries by hand.
And the truth is that modern ORMs are often pretty clever with their optimizations, and in many cases the ORM will often outperform an average developer doing the obvious thing is SQL.