I would hate reading that this would actually make the babies healthier for some obscure reasons that nobody had anticipated.

(This might be a writing prompt)

Well beef jerky is low carb, which is the in diet. There was an article about how you don't need to worry about processed red meat recently, so that is officially healthy.

The beer keeps you a chilled parent, and the coffee keeps you awake and keeps you alert after the beer and lack of sleep.

Plus coffee water has been boiled, and beer isnt a good habitat for nasties, and neither is jerky, so food poisoning should be much reduced.

I on the other hand would be quite smug.

Ah ah, anyway, this would be pointless if it makes you far more likely to reach death before having a chance to have kids. I guess it would be an optimization problem.

Already got me some kids.

Long life to you and your kids :-)

coffee ⇒ caffeine ⇒ better urinary health ⇒ better gametes ⇒ better babies?

Depends.

Maybe a guy takes caffeine because he's stressed about his financial security and can't sleep well, and the caffeine prevents him later from sleeping well at night propagating a vicious circle => worse babies.

Late night caffeine inhibits sleep which further creates lot of problems for the body.

Is perky jerky pretty much coffee + jerky?

That might affect your health.

Never been healthier!

All of your kids will come out thinking that jerky, coffee and beer are a great diet.

The lack of commas makes this even more unsettling.

Beef jerky in coffee sounds awful, but coffee in beef jerky sounds great.

No women?

do let us know how it turns out