The regret you feel having lost a year would probably pale in comparison to the lifelong regret at not having tried to achieve your dream.
There's plenty more positives you can take from this experience.
1. You learned how crippling your social anxiety can be (perhaps you already knew?), so maybe you can take some steps to work on that.
2. The door of indie developer is now firmly closed, which means you can explore new possibilities (whatever they may be), with wholehearted commitment not distracted by the siren's call.
3. You learned just how supportive your partner is. They stuck with you and are still with you. That's gotta be a good thing right?
I've made grave mistakes and hurt people in ways for which I cannot ever make amends. The only amend I can make is to be a better person, which I think I am.
For me it was important to forgive myself even when no one else would. My view is forgive (myself) but not forget. Forgiving allows me to move forward. Not forgetting is a guardrail against moving back.
Having said that, life is full of actions with consequences that are truly final and one-way tickets. I'm not judging how people perceive the pain of their own dilemmas. That's a deeply personal call.
Is that really a silver lining? This is just a cautionary tale to everyone that even a story of redemption is not fulfillable and you always have to live with that.
There's plenty more positives you can take from this experience.
1. You learned how crippling your social anxiety can be (perhaps you already knew?), so maybe you can take some steps to work on that.
2. The door of indie developer is now firmly closed, which means you can explore new possibilities (whatever they may be), with wholehearted commitment not distracted by the siren's call.
3. You learned just how supportive your partner is. They stuck with you and are still with you. That's gotta be a good thing right?