I'm starting to wonder if mass media in general is bad for our mental health, and if we'd be better off unplugging as much as we can from everything - social media, TV, radio, Hacker News, etc. and spending more time with our community. I suppose the problem is, most communities are completely addicted to this stuff, so we're left in a situation where it's hard for most people to unplug for any long period of time without isolating themselves.
This is my experience. I disconnected from social media, and my social life immediately died. Friends only communicate with each other through Facebook, so I'm really only staying in regular contact with my very closest friends anymore. Most of it I don't miss, because social media has also reduced the quality of communication to the level of gossip, but what I do miss out on is any sort of invitations to social gatherings.
It also eliminates opportunities to make new friends. It's surprisingly difficult to find a knitting group in my area that doesn't organize using Facebook Groups, for example.
It frankly worries me. In the past, we worried about monopolies on things like oil and diamonds. I'm not sure our culture has the tools to cope with a monopoly on participation in society.
I deleted my social media almost ten years ago and I feel like I have a stronger social network now than I had before. The key thing I think I may have done differently is that I got involved in things that provided opportunities to be engaged with people.
For example; I joined my local Masonic lodge and started doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Between those two things alone I find I have regular enough interactions with a variety of different people that I naturally find out about, and am invited to events and activities that more than make up for the loss of social media.
I'm not suggesting everyone join a Masonic lodge (obviously) or take up Jiu-Jitsu. There are a great number of things everyone can do that gets them around other people in a way that is natural and fulfilling.
Also--and this, I find, is critical--all my old friends are still friends and they call or email or text me and I them. Anyone who claimed to be my friend but couldn't be bothered to get in touch with me after I dropped social media was never a very good friend to begin with.
My view is if people stop contacting you just because you dropped off of some social media platform, they weren't really friends to begin with. When I ditched Facebook about 10 years ago, I lost contact with a whole bunch of people who weren't really part of my life anyway, they were simply "names I recognized." On the other hand, it had no effect on my actual friendships or family connections. We all know how to contact each other and we do. My social life is probably better after dropping social media simply because I'm spending less time scrolling in front of a screen.
So, it's not that opportunities to socialize don't exist. It's that an ever increasing number of them are being mediated through social media. Which means that the list of non-social-media options in one's community likely caters to an ever decreasing variety of interests.
You can use social media, without using social media. Let me explain.
For example I tangentally consider meetup groups to be social media, but the entire point is that you actually meet people in real life. That led to me meeting one of my partners in 2019
I also do keep a Facebook around so when I meet people traveling I can just add them easily, I almost never ever use anything aside from Facebook messenger, and to maybe view a few events that my friends are organizing.
I think the key way to think about Facebook is that it's original purpose, keep talking to your college friends, wasn't bad. It's just it's mutated purpose of trying to spread mis information, spreading gossip, and bullying are absolutely disgusting.
Everybody at my Jiu-Jitsu academy knows I don't have social media. Until COVID that was never really a problem.
After the first shutdown lifted somewhat, the health department mandates requires us to be part of small "pods" to help contain any spread (as an aside, that has worked surprisingly well considering how close in contact people are) We're also restricted to a limited number days we can train so pod members have to coordinate with each other the classes we're planning to attend so that we don't show up and be the only guy or gal in our pod that night.
You know how we invariably coordinate? Email or text. Primarily email in fact. It wasn't planned or dictated by anyone. It just worked out that way.
I can echo this. I'm social media lite. I have very few social media platforms and that ones I have are limited or automated so I don't interact with them often.
I had to be deliberate about telling people I'm not going to see their post about xyz so they would have to text or call me if they want to invite me. Sure I probably miss some events but the ones I go to I know I'm wanted at.
Socializing passively at a gym or Jiu-Jitsu or some type of class is the main way I've built friend groups over the years.
I’d like to echo the socializing part. Granted it’s hard right now because of covid restrictions, but if you’ve deleted your social media you have to get yourself out there and socialize the analog way. Don’t be shy to say hi to people. Ask them what they are doing. Socialize at your regular routine stops. Reach out to that person you only kinda know from that thing one time and see if they want to come to something you’re doing.
You’ll find people are very willing to discuss things if you initiate. This is how we did it before social media and it’s by far the more pleasant way. Just don’t be a jerk, you’ll be fine.
MeetUp is a great resource too. I’ve even asked randoms on NextDoor if they want to meet up at the pub. There are ways to be social without the big social media platforms.
Oh sure. Talking to strangers, those strangers turning into acquaintances, and those acquaintances turning into friends is an art that seems to be lost. It's much more common in smaller towns where you only have so many people to choose from and see the same people over and over.
I definitely struggled with something similar when I first deleted Facebook. It's definitely harder in terms of "discoverability" to connect with people you enjoy spending time with.
But over time that difficulty lessened. I found the connections I made outside of Facebook were longer lasting and more meaningful, because there was actually some onus on me to try and stay engaged. And people do respond well when you demonstrate you care to engage in a deeper fashion. It feels like relationship building / maintenance in today's age is something of a lost art, because it's become so easy to superficially connect without putting in a bunch of work.
The big social platforms make you want to believe there's a monopoly on societal participation. Pushing back against that energy is such a powerful thing, even if it's somewhat isolating in the short-term.
After leaving facebook a few years ago, I noticed at first that it was difficult to find out about social events. And I felt more disconnected.
After a while, though, it just sort of filtered the events down to those I cared more about. My good friends still reach out directly and vice versa. I think it took a while for that to start happening though.
I've lost touch with many acquaintances, but if I'm being honest it's probably better that I don't expend energy on those people. I'm certainly not isolated from society, though. I just engage on my own terms.
Until six months ago, I consumed very little mainstream media or social media. I started following the news leading up to the presidential election because it seemed like this one would be more consequential than most. I can definitely say that I've been meaningfully less happy / more anxious / etc as a result. I definitely intend to scale back my news / media consumption to the level it was before in the near future.
I'm on day 3 of exactly that (deleted reddit, Facebook, reddit, Whatsapp, and Signal, and switched to a dumb phone). No idea how this will pan out, but personally I feel so much better already. I am also significantly more focussed and productive, and am already able to enjoy tasks that previously seemed boring in comparison to endlessly refreshing reddit and the like. I'm also in a country that is not so steeped in technology, and thus not as far down the path of general life becoming dependnet on it.
Just think about that - you denpend on big tech for the very media through which you perform the majority of interactions with your "friends".
I have an opposite version of this where I find myself frustrated that I can't discuss certain topics offline with my social circle. I'm happy to have an outlet for this, even if it might have other negative consequences. It depends on your personality profile I suppose. I find intense arguments relaxing.
As a personal anecdote through the pandemic and election, I've found out several things:
1. Twitter, for me, is incredibly detrimental to my mental health. I felt the need to check it until the inauguration, but took several breaks and was shocked how much better I felt. Now I think I might just stay away from it almost entirely.
2. Facebook, on the other hand, has been generally good for me, since I got rid of toxic people and just kept lightly in touch with a small set (maybe 20) of people that I enjoy interacting with. My enjoyment of it has improved, although I'd still rather have a different way of doing it. Plus, it is only 15 minutes per day or so, so it's benefit to my life is minimal.
3. Reddit. Generally still like it, although much less so since there has been a drop in quality contributors, an increase in politics, and generally less fun overall. But as long as I stay away from contentious subreddits, I like reading it. It is more of a time sink than a mental health drain (although that's related, too)
4. Hacker News: I've grown to greatly appreciate the strict moderation and find it is a great example of a "good" social site. It adds value, but it isn't a time sink.
As for mass media, it is far too driven by reaction, and I mostly avoid all of it. In-depth general media, and focused media are more interesting. The Economist is generally great, for instance, because most everything is in depth. I've recently taken to reading a shipping news site, and that is interesting because I can hear more pertinent information about, say covid, because they aren't reporting about covid, but reporting the effects of covid.
Mostly I think we need more education and training for our population on handling media. Too many people seem to take whatever the read as truth and insert it directly into their brain without an skepticism or critical thought. I hate that. Everyone should have a "news vestibule" in their brain where new information must sit and be verified before they allow it into their mind as a whole.
Lastly, I'm now much more inclined to pay for content than I was 5 years ago.
I cannot help but be deeply unsettled by the proposal. Isn't that considering willfull ignorance of the world at large considered good mental health then? That is effectively an implication of saying we should reject all mass media.
Really mental health should be considered to have at least two components - 'morale' related to functioning and happiness and 'attunement to reality' based upon perceiving the world as close to as it is as possible essentially. That approach sounds like something which would boost the first at the cost of the second.
I recently saw the video about one cell to salamander on HN. I was awestruck. How can you access such amazing topics without accessing HN? Or do you access it once a week?
Exactly. I subscribe to the hacker newsletter which gives me a digest of the highlights once a week. Rarely hit the homepage on my own anymore, but I do browse some of the topics once a week when I read that newsletter.
The problem with totally unplugging is that you effectively put your head in the sand. You're less informed about what is going on around you. Sure you can read books, but you're increasing your risk of exposure to bias or falsehoods when you limit your selection like that. We may be getting pummeled with "fake news" right now, but at least we have the ability to discuss the matter and see more than one side.
The early 20th century may have seemed hunky-dory to a lot of people, but there was a lot of bad stuff going on that just never had the chance to see the light of day. I don't want to go back to that.
Take it to a further extreme, the Amish. I'm sure many of them think life is great out there on the farm. But they aren't going to be much help for solving problems on a national or global scale. Heck even their votes (do they vote?) are probably based on some community consensus or shared local interest. As you narrow your gaze you limit your ability to participate in the world.
Some will, but probably not the ones that grab attention. For 99% of humanity's existence, if you even heard of ten people dying at once it meant that you were in extreme danger. (Or occasionally, had just finished putting the neighbouring tribe in extreme danger.)
Let's take one big example: climate change. Without the news, things would be different. It might never have achieved the level of funding and attention it has so far if it weren't for general public awareness.
