I was in your situation year ago, three years of agony at a mediocre toxic corporate company where our team was responsible for all the problems but were given no time or resources at all to actually fix the root cause. Only firefighting was allowed.
I was on medical leave, went back, and eventually was offered to quit without serving my notice period (so 4 months paid without working).
It’s been a year since and I didn’t touch a computer for 10 months. I was feeling like shit and really needed the time to recover. I’m still not recovered but much better. I’ve been seeing a therapist to deal with the aftermath for 18 months. It helped. Magic mushrooms and weed also help me putting things in perspective and understanding that it was a failure of that company, not of me.
Burn-out especially when ignored for so long is no joke. I know it feels silly/cowardly/scary to be unemployed, but you really have to get out. Sick leave while still employed at the company doesn’t let you free yourself from all the pain because you’ll have to go back eventually.
I’m lucky that where I live you get employment insurance even if you quit. But if that’s not an option in your country then let them fire you. They created the problem so fuck them. It’s not like you were going to get a good reference from that place anyway.
I would also recommend reading the post on common cog about burnout. It’s well written and instructive.
Bottom line is the longer you stay the worst it’ll get. Only time can heal you (several months, like 12–24) but you’ll get better. It’s just a matter of leaving that toxic place and waiting.
Good luck. It should be criminal to put people in these situations rather than just “cost of doing business” for employers.
> Sick leave while still employed at the company doesn’t let you free yourself from all the pain because you’ll have to go back eventually.
I've not seen anyone put this into words, but yes, absolutely this. The entire time I was out I knew in the back on my mind I was going to have to go back sooner or later. In the few days leading up to going back I was physically ill.
The other thing that sucks is I knew I should be applying for other jobs while on medical leave, but I just couldn't bring myself to. I really needed the time to try and recover (which didn't work out) and I think I managed to only send out a handful of applications during that time.
I know how much it’s sucks, I wish you the best. And remember that only time will heal you. It can take a long time but you’ll recover. Also remember that it’s the result of a shitty and/or todos and/or mismatched work environment, not of any weakness on your part. Knowing this really helped me.
Another thing I forgot to add: if you’re not keen on paychoactives, CBD works well to help me relax. I never used any drugs until this happened to me but (in moderation) it was remedially helpful to cope and move forward.
You don’t even have to smoke it and damage your lungs. I got a German made vaporizer (wasn’t cheap, got it used) which only heats the weee or CBD to 200C. It’s enough to vaporize the cbd and thc but you get none of the tar and other nasty stuff from combustion.
Why not? They contributed to the situation, they can also contribute to the subsequent burden.
And if your benefits depend on getting laid off rather than quit, it’s the right thing to do. The corporation gives no fucks about you, it’s not like your sepuku will save your honor or anything. Besides, they might actually be happy to lay you off and get rid of you rather than have you agonize because you won’t quit.
I was in your situation year ago, three years of agony at a mediocre toxic corporate company where our team was responsible for all the problems but were given no time or resources at all to actually fix the root cause. Only firefighting was allowed.
I was on medical leave, went back, and eventually was offered to quit without serving my notice period (so 4 months paid without working).
It’s been a year since and I didn’t touch a computer for 10 months. I was feeling like shit and really needed the time to recover. I’m still not recovered but much better. I’ve been seeing a therapist to deal with the aftermath for 18 months. It helped. Magic mushrooms and weed also help me putting things in perspective and understanding that it was a failure of that company, not of me.
Burn-out especially when ignored for so long is no joke. I know it feels silly/cowardly/scary to be unemployed, but you really have to get out. Sick leave while still employed at the company doesn’t let you free yourself from all the pain because you’ll have to go back eventually.
I’m lucky that where I live you get employment insurance even if you quit. But if that’s not an option in your country then let them fire you. They created the problem so fuck them. It’s not like you were going to get a good reference from that place anyway.
I would also recommend reading the post on common cog about burnout. It’s well written and instructive.
Bottom line is the longer you stay the worst it’ll get. Only time can heal you (several months, like 12–24) but you’ll get better. It’s just a matter of leaving that toxic place and waiting.
Good luck. It should be criminal to put people in these situations rather than just “cost of doing business” for employers.