You raise good points, but I think your point is actually compatible with, rather than at odds with the article.
For example, someone that likes to take conflict head on will deeply dislike their own desire to be avoidant, and for example will likely deeply regret the few times they failed to take a conflict head on.
In any such scale, e.g. being deceptive vs truthful, everybody has a bit of both, and if they identify strongly with one end, they also dislike the part of themselves that is opposite of that (a la Carl Jung's shadow concept).
I think most people are actually pretty successful at suppressing parts of themselves they most dislike unless they are suffering from addiction or depression, etc.
This feels like it's assuming a certain causal direction. You say that I dislike the other person's character trait because it's a trait of mine I may dislike and suppress. What if it's the other way around? What if I suppress a trait of mine because I've been annoyed by other people exhibiting the trait and do not wish to exhibit it myself?
I know the latter is something I've taken conscience effort to do.
That's a really good point, but not 100% in contradiction with the main point.
It certainly is an issue regardless of causal direction when you feel strongly about something that most "healthy" people aren't that bothered with.
I had BPD(90% cured) and one lingering issue I have is called "Subjugation" where I have trouble setting healthy limits and seeing acts of bullying or others subjugating others (real or perceived) still triggers me.
I did tell HR I hated bullying, HR took it well, but one could certainly reach the correct conclusion I have a weakness when dealing with them, otherwise I wouldn't be as bothered with it, or list it as number one issue; I mean, it only happened once in the last 15 years.
I think the cause and effect here isn't linear, but circular. People dislike the same trait in others, and themselves, and seeing it in either of them causes them to further dislike and suppress it.
For example, someone that likes to take conflict head on will deeply dislike their own desire to be avoidant, and for example will likely deeply regret the few times they failed to take a conflict head on.
In any such scale, e.g. being deceptive vs truthful, everybody has a bit of both, and if they identify strongly with one end, they also dislike the part of themselves that is opposite of that (a la Carl Jung's shadow concept).
I think most people are actually pretty successful at suppressing parts of themselves they most dislike unless they are suffering from addiction or depression, etc.