Sometimes your problem is that you're using a reciprocating saw when you should be using an angle grinder, sometimes your problem is that you bought Ryobi instead of Milwaukee or Makita.
Indeed, but sometimes you just need to use the right tool for the job. That could be a precision guided flying laser chainsaw axe. Usually it’s a bog standard trusty dumb hammer that everyone else manages to bash similar looking nails with quite effectively.
If node is the issue here that would make elixir a solution, no? Changing languages (i.e. node is the issue) to get the features described would put you looking at elixir (among other languages that can fill the described properties).
Maybe what you mean is that elixir isn't the only solution?