It’s not that I have nothing else to do. It’s that the dopamine hit of fixing a thing that affects my team often outweighs any other choice.
Working out frequently, getting a family, getting a side project off the ramp, and reducing to part-time have all helped me with my addiction to feeling valuable and important when nothing else is gained than becoming known for fixing stuff in weekends free of charge.
> It’s not that I have nothing else to do. It’s that the dopamine hit of fixing a thing that affects my team often outweighs any other choice.
I know first hand about the "fixer" mindset that a lot of engineering-minded men have.
Do yourself a favor and fix things mostly for your family/friends, and your company a distant third. Every single person will be better off in this scenario. It's a hard learned sometimes counter-intuitive lesson, but it must be learned.
I will help you. The truth is that you are an asset. Even if they make you feel important, you are as important as a good chair. They will replace you without thinking twice if they want.
This is not a great take. I have plenty of things to do outside of work and I will still do what's "right" in my mind, especially if there's enough evidence that it will make my and other people's life easier in the long run.
There are plenty of people like that in a company but they normally don't cluster together, so it feels like "nobody else cares". That's false. At times that's how exactly how products, or even entire companies, are saved. Because a bunch of individuals who think like that get together and work hard to accomplish something.
Whether that effort is recognized or not depends on the company. If it's not then, I agree, it would be irrational to keep pushing. But you can't know until you try.
(Edit: to be clear, I'm not advocating prioritizing work over anything else, that really depends on you, but there's a fine line between "working hard" and being obsessed. The latter will more often than not result in a net negative in most cases. The same level of effort and/or prioritization should be applied to all areas of life)
I come from a country where work culture has gotten to the point where no one cares. It's a self-fullfilling prophecy of delays, lies, and lower compensation.
The correct approach is to be flexible, recognise that your family is worth more than the company, but still give a shit about your work and getting it done.
Own product is great, although it becomes difficult to justify bikeshedding variable names and a possible 3rd Rust rewrite when you should be grinding out more hours on marketing and sales.
The are addicted to feeling valuable and important.
When they get home from work, they have nothing else to do.