> A wife is a useful thing to have in this respect, not because they tend to profligacy, but because this kind of thing is much easier to detect and fix in someone close to you than in yourself.
I think what you mean is, a wife/spouse can help you see maladaptive patterns that you're blind to?
I don't think you propose that you can "fix" your spouse's behavior?
Spouses can "fix" behaviors in each other (up to a point) if they are each ammenable and open to it.
You can't "fix" someone who doesn't want to be fixed, however. And you really can't change deeply engrained personality traits. This will just lead to conflict and stress. This is what pre-marital counseling will try to discover, and it's too bad more people don't do it, as it would go a long way to reducing the number of unhappy marriages.
This doesn't mean that opposites cannot have happy lives together, but they need to accept each other for who they are and not be unhappy that the other person cannot change "for them."
A lot of spousal disagreement tends to come down to issues about money though, so a frugal person paired with a spendthrift will probably have a tough go of it.
I think what you mean is, a wife/spouse can help you see maladaptive patterns that you're blind to?
I don't think you propose that you can "fix" your spouse's behavior?