> it seems like you really need an LLC with a mail forwarding service and a cheap second phone line just to avoid the App Store sending the whole internet to your personal phone and address.

This is an EU requirement, and Apple didn't do this before EU required it. All app marketplaces have the same requirement for EU

> On a website you can just not deal with any of that

This may violate other EU compliance requirements but sure there's obviously no authority determining your compliance before allowing you to publish on web