I think my point is more along the lines of "no matter how you ask it, someone is bound to be unhappy, feel discriminated against, etc". I know at age 17 I was not comfortable saying "I am a woman." That meant something to me that I felt I had not yet attained. I suspect minors mostly feel left out as is, just like transexuals feel left out in a thousand subtle ways by all kinds of linguistic implications that there is only male or female.

Sorry it's such a big deal to you.