It takes 30 days to form a new habit. You just have to get there. Routine is the key. And early mornings are the best, because you never have the excuse to say "I've had a shitty day at work, all I want is a pizza and a beer". For me it was the gym. Every morning (almost!) I roll in there at 6am before I'm even really awake. "Alright, lads" I say, "alright", they reply, it's always the same crowd, they are very serious people, and now I am pretty serious too. And I don't need to force myself to do it now either, because it's what I do, I'm the sort of person now who in the winter when it's dark outside will trudge through the snow then train so hard in an unheated former warehouse that steam pours off me and I like being that person.
So set your alarm an hour earlier tomorrow and commit yourself to playing your guitar (or whatever) for an hour before starting your day. If you're tired and go to bed an hour earlier, so what, you were going to waste that hour watching TV anyway, get some sleep and get up early and do it again the next day. Then soon this will just be what you do and you'll wonder how it was ever any other way.
Also as Confucious said, if a man chases two chickens they will both get away.
Agreed. I was having trouble focusing for a while and started biking 25 miles immediately when I woke up every morning. Doing the exact same loop every day started a pattern that I could follow for the rest of the day and I became a much more disciplined person.
In the beginning of the ride I would think about the previous day. If there were parts of it I was unhappy about I would think about how to fix them today.
The middle of the ride was new business, figuring out how today would rock.
The end of the ride was random brainstorming and more focusing on my time and body.
In other words, find an experience at the beginning of the day that you can use as a crutch. The experience should be strikingly different than the beginnings of your previous 10 lackluster years.
Wouldn't it be sad to find yourself writing to us in 10 years saying the same thing?
I could see that web site being a lot more interesting and compelling if it gave you some sort of visual discovery for each new day. If you break the chain, you have to start back at the first one.
The seinfeld method is amazing. I rarely flossed my teeth but, for some odd reason, really wanted to make it a habit. I used the seinfeld method for 2 months (guess I'm a slow learner) and now I floss every single day no matter what.
I independently developed the same method as Seinfeld's but using Google Calendar. I make an entry of a particular color everyday I've been to the gym. The point here is I don't make future appointments on when to go, but rather make an entry at the end of the day every time I have actually been.
The psychological effect of not breaking the chain pushes me to keep going. It really works for me!
Agreed. One addition, you can tie habits to objects either consciously or unconsciously. You probably didn't feel like that guy who'll train at 6am every day when you got up in a pair of boxers, but when you got into your gym stuff I bet that changed entirely.
I bet there's a ton of joggers who don't feel like going out when it's -5C and there's the first sign of snow on the pavement, but they put on their tracksuit and go.
I'm a writer. I sit down at my desk in front of my laptop, turn on the lamp, feed Curly, Hugs and Kisses (my three goldfish who would get multiple daily feeding's if I didn't drop this step after the morning) open my laptop, plug in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, set itunes playing and open my word processor. I quickly start writing where I left off. I don't even need the steps any more, I just sit down and write.
I have a pair of track pants (the disgusting ones with a plasticy outside) that when I put on I'll paint any room you put me in. I painted a room that was 40ftx40ft and then painted the ceiling. These became work pants unconsciously, they were just a crap pair of pants I didn't care about ruining, now they're a uniform.
They teach these kinds of cues in psychology for people with anxiety disorders. That when you pull on your right ear lobe you associate it with a happy memory, eventually you'll trigger the happiness when you do the action. This is what most children do by accident, they have a blanket or toy that soothes them and can be used to keep them calm.
Habits and routines are very powerful if you learn how to use them, but it's best not to rely on them or you can cause other problems (hence why children shouldn't be allowed to keep a blankey too long, or they'll develop a psychological dependence more powerful than cigarettes).
How right you are. I'm rarely ever "comfortable" in standard work clothes, but when I get home and throw on jeans and a t-shirt, the creative juices flow and I feel charged and ready to get stuff done, likewise when I open my blinds, I know it's time to clean the house.
That's one of the things I miss about working in the City, changing out of workclothes at the end of the day, it really did have a psychological effect.
Nothing more to add here but fantastic response! - You have just motivated me to get my ass in gear and do some stuff I have been putting off! - thanks
Actually right after I posted that, I went and joined the office Gym.Hopefully I'll stick to it for full 30 days!It really feels good to work out and I'll probably take a print out of this HN thread and stick it on my walls so that I'll always be reminded not to slack
You absolutely can change this, but 30 days is optimistic. I was like this too, and it took YEARS to really break - not break to the point where I was successfully forcing myself to do these things, but break to the point where it was part of who I was. That said, you want to structure things so that in 30 days (or less) you can get some tangible feedback that the changes are working. The best concrete piece of advice I can give is not to be too ambitious at first. Don't set your alarm an hour earlier tomorrow, just set it 10 minutes earlier, and then increase from there.
I've seen the gym advice so many times already, but I just cannot motivate myself to do it. I understand that it's healthy, and I tried it for a couple of months, but I really thoroughly hate working out. It just doesn't seem to work for me. It doesn't give me "energy". It doesn't make me happier in any way. I perfectly believe that it's healthy and it's what I should do, but frankly after (or before) a day's work, plus the necessary housekeeping, I just can't be bothered to do anything that I don't like.
It's just about you. You need to surround yourself with people trying to improve themselves as well. Find a club for exercising or music or something - a place where everyone is dedicated to the task. It's one of the most powerful motivators.
So set your alarm an hour earlier tomorrow and commit yourself to playing your guitar (or whatever) for an hour before starting your day. If you're tired and go to bed an hour earlier, so what, you were going to waste that hour watching TV anyway, get some sleep and get up early and do it again the next day. Then soon this will just be what you do and you'll wonder how it was ever any other way.
Also as Confucious said, if a man chases two chickens they will both get away.