Everyone must have a conceptual image of themselves - an evaluation of their self worth. Where that self worth is derived from makes a big different in a persons life. You are presently in a trap that it is very common for people to fall into. You are deriving your conception of self worth through social means - in this case comparing your accomplishments and skills with those it seems others have. People are often told to 'not care what others think,' but that is impossible to accomplish without an alternative method of evaluating yourself, and such alternatives are not usually provided.
A very beneficial approach to take is objectivity. The state of other people does not influence the objective reality of your worth. If you were a runner, for example, your ability to run a 4 minute mile remains regardless of whether other runners are faster or slower. You could either look at yourself and say 'I am slower than other runners', or you could look at yourself and say 'I can run a 4 minute mile.' One is contingent upon other people, and the other is an objective measure which can not be influenced by people.
An objective basis of self worth, an inventory of skills and accomplishments based on actual personal history, will also change your goals. Instead of setting a nebulous goal of 'I want to be faster than other runners' which you will never believe you have accomplished (as you get faster you will simply change to looking at another group of faster runners and feel you have made little or no progress), you will set goals like 'I want to run a mile in 3 minutes and 45 seconds' which is definite, testable, achievable, and which has a clear path towards accomplishing it. Concerning yourself with objective truth rather than relative measures is tremendously freeing. It builds your self worth from successes which nothing can take away from you. Chasing a goal like 'I want to be a better programmer' is fundamentally different from chasing something like 'I want to implement the LZW data compression algorithm.' The first provides no direction, and provides no sense of accomplishment because you can always be 'better'. The second is something you can work toward and accomplish and which will produce an artifact you can point to and say 'I built that.'
Make no mistake, this is not simple, especially changing your thinking after adolescence, but it is very rewarding. You would have to consciously fight against your intuition, which, rewarding though it inevitably is, some people are very uncomfortable in doing. Eventually, the tendency to judge objectively rather than relative to others or reliant upon their opinions will come naturally and make you happier.
A very beneficial approach to take is objectivity. The state of other people does not influence the objective reality of your worth. If you were a runner, for example, your ability to run a 4 minute mile remains regardless of whether other runners are faster or slower. You could either look at yourself and say 'I am slower than other runners', or you could look at yourself and say 'I can run a 4 minute mile.' One is contingent upon other people, and the other is an objective measure which can not be influenced by people.
An objective basis of self worth, an inventory of skills and accomplishments based on actual personal history, will also change your goals. Instead of setting a nebulous goal of 'I want to be faster than other runners' which you will never believe you have accomplished (as you get faster you will simply change to looking at another group of faster runners and feel you have made little or no progress), you will set goals like 'I want to run a mile in 3 minutes and 45 seconds' which is definite, testable, achievable, and which has a clear path towards accomplishing it. Concerning yourself with objective truth rather than relative measures is tremendously freeing. It builds your self worth from successes which nothing can take away from you. Chasing a goal like 'I want to be a better programmer' is fundamentally different from chasing something like 'I want to implement the LZW data compression algorithm.' The first provides no direction, and provides no sense of accomplishment because you can always be 'better'. The second is something you can work toward and accomplish and which will produce an artifact you can point to and say 'I built that.'
Make no mistake, this is not simple, especially changing your thinking after adolescence, but it is very rewarding. You would have to consciously fight against your intuition, which, rewarding though it inevitably is, some people are very uncomfortable in doing. Eventually, the tendency to judge objectively rather than relative to others or reliant upon their opinions will come naturally and make you happier.